Changing Course

Nearly 90 days into the new year and there’s been plenty of changes in my workplace. A colleague will be retiring after serving over 20 years while another decided to leave the stress of corporate life for health reasons. By early April, our unit will be downsized by 50%, with little chance of reinforcements. A scene from a fave movie comes to mind. The first was a scene from Aliens, where Pvt Hudson played by Bill Paxton was on the verge of meltdown following the destruction of the rescue craft and Burke (Paul Reiser) retorted with an amazing comeback which I’m sure he ad-libbed. In case you’re wondering, it could’ve been me playing Hudson and my boss, Burke. Watch this with emphasis at the 0:19 timestamp.

It’s obvious now that there’s little chance of me pursuing a marathon goal for the year. Unless I can take 1.5 hours off my already compressed 6-hour sleep to train. Even if I could hack training and work without physically breaking down, I’ll have nothing left for my family and will definitely be asked to leave the house.

I figured that the only way I’m going to retain any joy and keep my self competitive streak going in my running, I’ll have to shelf marathon plans for the year, or at least until things stabilize at work. This would mean that GCAM could very well be the only overseas race I’ll be doing, and it’ll just be a Half Marathon at that. There would be no RJM, no Osaka, no Kobe. If things lighten up after September, I may be able to do Chiangmai in December but I don’t want to go for the sake of just going.

When the decision was made last week, I felt an almost immediate relief of pressure. I’ve been running with a weight of multiple commitments (which wasn’t only physical but on my emotional level) on my shoulders for far too long. I’m aiming to cut off more encumbrances over the next few months as I aim to simplify my commitment outside family, work and pursuit of running goals.

As early as this year still is, I’m just focused on getting through it. I already have marathon plans in faraway places next year and that’s what keeping my dreams alive.

Published March 18, 2013.